


.just once

by AkaToMidori



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22074325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaToMidori/pseuds/AkaToMidori
Summary: ‘Just once,’he had said.‘Just to see what it’s like.’
Relationships: Aiba Masaki/Sakurai Sho
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42
Collections: Sakuraiba Tanabata 2019-2020





	.just once

**Author's Note:**

> _Jan 01_  
>  Prompt: “Just once.”

“It’s funny,” the other guy said, a breathy chuckle just barely escaping his lips. 

He stared back, following the wrinkles of his friend’s eyes as they closed, carefully memorising the way his head was thrown back in a subdued laughter, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. 

He wondered what was so funny, as his eyes moved down to the curve of the guy’s shoulders, the bared skin inviting him in, daring him to leave his kisses there, to make him shiver from the pleasure, to make him tremble from the want, to make him delirious with need. And then his gaze shifted when the guy looked back, and he was lost in his eyes for a second before he had to look away. 

His lips were moving now, just slightly wet, hardly reddened by the kiss they’d just shared. There was nothing in the world, he thought, he would have liked more than to kiss him again. 

‘ _Just once,_ ’ he had said. ‘ _Just to see what it’s like._ ’ 

Sho knew he should have said no, but he had never been able to say no to Aiba, and he wasn’t about to start now. Not when Aiba had asked him to do what he had wanted to do since he was nineteen years old and had realized how he felt for his bandmate.

“Sho-chan?” Aiba waved a hand in front of him. 

Sho flinched a little, but regained composure quickly enough. He tore his eyes away from his friend’s lips, but he still couldn’t look him in the eyes. He hummed and closed his eyes, spreading his arms on the border of the tub they were sharing. 

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Aiba asked. 

“Hm? Something was funny?” He let himself sink deeper in the warm water, his eyes still shut, his mind replaying the memory of their kiss over and over to brand it in his brain forever. 

Aiba chuckled, and his voice carried over to Sho’s spot with a faint echo, almost as if Aiba wasn’t really there, almost as if it had all been a dream. 

“I said it’s funny, kissing a guy,” he laughed again. “Not much different than kissing a girl, after all.”

Sho hummed in agreement, ignoring how his heart was screaming the opposite. No one had ever felt to him the way Aiba had. No one had ever taken his breath away just by closing the gap between their lips; no one had ever made his tongue tingle the way his friend’s had when they were intertwined; and no one ever made him feel complete with just a kiss. But he could never say that to Aiba, lest he risked losing him forever.

And yet, there was something in the back of his mind nagging him. He needed to ask, but at the same time, he was afraid of what Aiba would say. Gathering all the courage he could muster, he combed his hair back with one of his hands and looked at his bandmate, fighting to get the words out.

“Why me?” Sho asked, reluctantly. And maybe just a tiny part of him still held hope that he would hear the answer he was looking for. 

“Silly,” Aiba said with a giggle. “I couldn’t very well ask the others, could I?” He looked up and started counting down on his hand as he explained. “Jun-kun would have kicked me in the balls just for suggesting it, you know how he is. With Nino, it would be weird, he’s like a brother to me. Maybe I could have gotten Oh-chan to agree, but his heart wouldn’t be in it. That leaves you, Sho-chan,” he looked back at him cheerily. “You are my friend, and you’re an earnest guy who always gives it his best. I knew I would get the best results from kissing you,” he concluded with a smile. 

Sho forced himself to smile back as he felt his heart break painfully. “And what are the experiment’s results?” 

Aiba lifted his index finger and pretended to adjust imaginary glasses on his nose. “Experiment’s results: Sho-chan’s lips are very soft, just like a girl’s,” he joked, dodging just in time when Sho splashed water in his direction. 

Forty minutes later, he was in Nino’s hotel room, gurgling down his third beer. His friend, who had been nursing the same drink for the past thirty minutes, was quietly reflecting on what he had just told him. 

“Why did you do it?” 

Aiba sighed as he put down the can. His thoughts were all scrambled in his head, and he just wanted for them to stop, so he could finally find some peace. 

“I needed to know, Nino,” he said eventually. “I needed to know how it would feel to have his lips on mine. So I can say that he was mine, even if it was just once in my life.” 

He didn’t even realize he was sobbing until he felt his friend’s arms around his shoulders, the hiccups shaking his body violently as Nino whispered to him affectionately that he was an idiot, until he fell asleep on the couch, the ghost of Sho’s lips still lingering on his own.


End file.
